There are days when we’re so restless we have no energy to do anything.
And I’ve been feeling that way for these past few days.
Especially when it comes to this personal project I’m currently doing. For those of you who don’t know, I challenge myself to publish a writing every single day for 27 days to my 20th birthday.
I write on various topics but I usually share any thoughts that pop into my head as I go through my day. It can be anything, from things that make me anxious or confused to the things that make me happy.
Although people might see me as a prolific writer as I’ve been diligently writing and publishing my writing on a daily basis for more than a week, the ideas of my essay don’t always appear within a blink of an eye.
Sometimes I don’t know what to write because I feel like I’ve written everything I wanted to share. The idea of taking a break for a day seems convenient, I could use the time to think on new topics. Even so, I’m too much of a perfectionist to take a break from doing this challenge.
Now that I think of it, my psychologists once said this to me:
“You don’t have to be perfect in the process.”
“Process isn’t always about progress. It doesn’t always move forward. Sometimes it takes us to step back, sometimes we stop. We take a step forward, then we stop, and then we may take some steps back before we continue our progress. And that is totally fine. Process isn’t fun. It’s full of stress and pressure. It makes us uncomfortable.”
What I need to do is not scolding myself for not being able to put up with the difficult phase. Instead, I should treat myself with more kindness and patience.
When someone is sick, anger and scolding won’t make them recover sooner. What we could do to help them is by tend their needs and treat them gently.
The same goes with flower that’s having a hard time to bloom. We don’t yell at how slow they’ve been progressing. We let them take their time while we try to nurture them with more compassion and patience.
Even though it seems like I’m forcing myself to write this in order to not miss a day in my 27 days challenge, by writing my previously cluttered thoughts, I can find important notes that remind of necessary things I often forget.
I guess I really have to write or at least have a dialogue with myself every time I’m going through this phase so that I can become more grounded by remembering that I’m only a human and perfection isn’t something to be obsessed with.
